Sunday, October 02, 2005
She used to be:
- childish
- no much sense of responsibility
- no sense of priority
- no much sense of judgement
In short, she was nothing..just a rebellious, iresponsible girl who does not prioritize nor think of consequences before she act.
That was before...
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After much thoughts ( and I really mean MUCH thoughts...) I've finally set my decision:
I will NOT be celebrating my 21st bday.
It's nt tat I dun hv the money to hold a celebration...In fact, I've got the amt of $ set aside for it...plus some cash presents which my bros hv decided to give me...The amt is sufficient for ard 30 ppl dinner @ a good restaurant. However, I've decided to forgo the cash presents as well as my bday celebration.
Yes..I knw...everyone, esp a girl, has only one 21st...But i think the reasons behind my decision wld be even more meaningful to me as well as the ppl ard me, than the bday dinner tat was initially planned.
My reasons:1. Being 21 means I'm nw an adult, thus I shld nt be behaving childishly like what I did in the past. (Honestly, I dun think I can be matured @ all times, but this only applies to behavior. I might still throw "xiao jie pi qi" @ times, but my thinking wld nt change. The essential level of maturity will always remain or increase as time pass. There'll always be a kid in me - to keep myself young n cheerful @ heart..so please bear wif the 'kidish' fishylittlemousey. Maturity will be shown @ appropriate times.)
2. I wld like to take this opportunity to make my baobei, my family n my bros + sis proud.
3. I think the amt of $ spent on my bday could be more wisely used on other areas.
*"Ben Kor, I dun mean tat ur idea is nt gd,..just tat after so many things had happened recently tat I decided tat I shld be more sensible n prioritize things."*4. Being the eldest in the family, being a wife, being a sister of the few guys (Ben, Quan, Ken n Tony), I think I shld start to act my age.
So, I've decided tat...Instead of ppl celebrating my bday for me - spending $ n giving me presents, I've got a present for all of them.
For my bros + sis (Ben, Quan, Ken, Tony n Ching):The present is nt a physical one...But I'm sure tat you'll all be proud of my decision.For my parents:I'm gonna give the amt of $$$ set aside for my bday to them. Although it's nt much to them, but tat's the most I can do for nw..I'm nt a person who can save $$$. But since young, I've been taught to use $$$ wisely...I've been trained to use money wisely - $50/wk during sec sch days for transport, food, outings wif friends and anything tat I wanna buy. No extra money given.
However, I nv learnt how to save cos I nv had any $ left.
Nw tat I'm gonna be 21, I need to start to learn to save so tat I can plan further for my baobei n myself - our future n future kids (^_^)
But for the time being, I'm just gonna prioritize my spending.
Disappointment n sadness...YES..They exist in my heart..However, I made this decision on my own, under no influence of anyone, AND I'm gonna stick to it!
I wld be lying to everyone if I wrote in this blog wif no sadness n disappointment. In fact, I am quite disappointed cos I've waited years for myself to reach this age of 21. Mum had told me b4 tat she wld organize a grand celebration for my 21st bday. But tat was 5 years ago..Now..due to some difficulties, it can't be fulfilled. But she's still trying hard to fulfill the promise as much as possible.
It hurts to see my dearest mum to slog so hard n spend those hard-earned $ on the bday of her daughter - who had been rebellious, insensible, irresponsible for her actions and immatured.
I wld rather use that $ to help dad or maybe put aside for 'rainy' days.
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Some ppl may read this blog may think n hv some negative comments of me trying to show off, gain sympathy or any other negative things...
But I can tell these ppl...NO..I'm Not..
I'm writing all these becos:
1. I dunno hw to explain to my dear bros n sis face-to-face, abt my decision, esp Ben Kor who has taken painstaken efforts to help me plan a grand bday celebration which involves everyone closest to me.
2. I wanna get this off my chest so tat I won't be so bothered by my disappointment n sadness. (I've already cried my heart out this afternoon while telling baobei this decision of mine.)
3. This blog is mine..A place where I can say watever tat can't be said in person.
In summary, the best present for my 21st bday wld be that everyone whom I knw n love are living in happiness. (^_^)
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FishyLittleMousey winks
at |1:00 AM|
