Sunday, August 21, 2005
I didn't lose myself along while I grow...
I didn't lose any of my family members while I grow..
BUT I lost my friends after I got married..
I lost the happiness I had wif the grp of friends whom I was very close wif before I got married..
I do not regret getting married..
I have no choice over my relapses..
However, during the process, during my constant relapses, I lost some of my close friends..
I do not wish for all these to happen..
I have my family, my laogong..But I lost my friends..
What happened:
I was browsing thru Friendster, to see how were my friends doing since it was the semester break..Unfortunately, I came across one of my closest friend's account n saw that in his photos, he n the gang (the grp we used to hang out with) had taken photos @ a steamboat restaurant..
Later, I decided to take a look @ the other members' of the grp's accounts too..and to my surprise, most of them had the outing's photos..One of the photo even had the caption of "Happy Family"...
Then it came to my mind..Happy Family?? Ya..they are a happy family..w/o me nor the other girl who was also left out from the grp's outing..
I'm not being sensitive nor persistent to the grp's outing..You guys may be thinking that "Oh well, just an outing..no big deal..." But to me..it is! Why?
Becos they were supposedly to be my closest friends..especially two of the guys in the grp!!!!!
This was not the first time that they have excluded me from their outings...
Whenever I organize outings,..I'm sure to remember to ask everyone of them, especially the 2 guys....But it was not the same for them...
They seem so happy in the photos...Maybe all along I was an extra..being older than the rest ( 1 or 2 yrs older)...maybe they felt that I'm someone's wife now, I can't go out wif friends or I'll be too busy accompanying my husband..
For their info,..
I have a life too!!!
My husband DO NOT restrict me frm going out wif my friends..
Other than my husband n my family, I can have friends too..
Being married doesn't mean forsaking friends or giving up friends..
I did not give up on my friends...they gave up on me..
I also wanna go out wif friends..but I cldn't becos of financial n health probs in the past months..But now, I'm financially stable but I've lost my closest friends...
I dunno how to react..
I dunno how to face them..
I dunno what to say to them..
I knw..everything is my fault..n not theirs..
I'm just...simply...a lousy, sick n useless girl..
P.S I'm just blogging abt a grp of friends, in particular 2 guys whom I thought was my best friends..I really truly treated them all as my closest friends..But..nothing matters now..cos all have been lost..becos of me n my stupid health...
But luckily I've still got my baobei, family n a few of my friends (especially CaiYing) who are always there for me..Thank you all..
To those I've mentioned in my blog:
Thank you all too..for the past happy memories you all had given me..
Thank you very much..
-----------------------------------------------------------
FishyLittleMousey winks
at |1:37 AM|
