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--> * the love nest of him and her *

*the man * # Brandon
# reaching 28 yrs old soon
# happily married
# a happy father
# bday on 05 October

*he loves * # her
# pampering n 'sayanging' her
# seeing my laopo 'sa jiao'
# their precious son - Joshua

*his wishlist * :: baby to be well n healthy ::
:: to earn more money ::
:: more time to accompany baobei laopo n baby ::

*Fellow Bloggers * :: PJ ::
:: CiEn ::
:: CaiYing ::
:: Eileen ::
:: HuiXian ::
:: Joyce ::
:: XiuSi ::
:: Darling Xiao Nan Ren (NO.1) ::
:: Darling Xiao Nan Ren (NO.2) ::
*Online Retailers n Caterers * :: Sweet Surprise ::
:: One Joy ::
:: Baby Bliss ::
:: Choz :: :: Mum's Kitchen ::
:: Select ::
:: Elsie's Kitchen ::
:: Melrose ::
:: Bengawan Solo ::
:: Prima Deli ::
:: Creative Floral n Cake Design ::
*Favourite Hunts * :: Google ::
:: Happy Tree Friends ::
:: Friendster ::
:: GV Cinema ::
*our very own sites * :: His Very First ::
:: Her photos - Our photos ::
:: Our New Album::
*archives *
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
December 2005
April 2006
May 2006
September 2006
October 2006

*the lady * # Natalie
# reaching 22 yrs old soon
# happily married
# a happy mother
# bday on 18 November

*she loves * # him
# pampering n 'sayanging' laogong
# anything to do with him
# their precious son - Joshua

*her wishlist * :: laogong n everyone I knw to be always happy ::
:: baby to be well n healthy ::
:: baobei's wishes to come true ::

adopt your own virtual pet!

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Something is wrong..I dunno wat..

I am wrong...I dunno wat I did wrong..

I am lost..I dunno when I lost myself..
Could I hv lost myself during my eagerness to earn more money?
Could I hv lost myself during my growing up stage?
Could it be that there was never myself, only others, only a fake front?
When hv I lost myself?? I wan myself back..

I'm feeling terrible, no one knws...no one will understand..

I'm immersed in happiness, love and care frm my darling laogong..
It's not his fault..he did nothing wrong..the prob doesn't lies with him..
It's ME..I'm the problematic one..I feel helpless..useless..I'm nothing!

Is it becos of my inability to put down the past? During my growing stages, I have been told n critized numerous of time, by my dear mother, the one I was closest to before my husband, that I am useless, ugly and stupid. My sister is always the pretty, clever and hard working one..Even now wif my bro,..he's clever...But never me..I'm always the stupid one..

I dunno wat's wrong..Though I'm taking Family n Youth as my elective, I cant seem to apply those concepts and methods of analyzing emotional problems to myself..that is if there is myself..

Maybe those of you out there, strangers or even my own friends, may not understand wat I'm talking abt now..But these are all the things that I feel deep down, right inside my heart now.

A piece is missing frm my heart..My life is almost completed..with a doting and loving husband + my family n friends (I wonder how many true friends do I still hv? Maybe not much..or maybe..none...)

I'm feeling empty..unable to focus..no one realize that..not even laogong..Maybe it's the fake front that's blinding everyone from my true self..

I'm no longer myself..I'm no longer fishy..
But luckily, I'm still laogong's favourite - little mousey, or am I??

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FishyLittleMousey winks
at |1:27 PM|